tirade tuesday...

was supposed to start last week, but with our country making history and all, i didn't feel very tirade-y.
so this week... oprah has had overweight teens on the show. yesterday i was literally crying as i watched. they did an exercise with a counselor where they stood up and yelled, "i am angry because..." and then the teen had to fill in the blank, yelling to get all the anger out. first i should say that we should be allowed to do this as adults. i think when we get mad we should run into our front yards and yell, " i am mad because i have five more loads of laundry to do!" or "don't mess with me because i have pms!" or "i am so ticked because my kid just dumped his breakfast on the floor!" and just get it all out. i digress...
but the things these kids were mad about would break your heart. it wasn't i am mad because i don't have this or that, but one girl was mad because her mom was her best friend - her only friend. another teen was upset because they get teased by teachers as well as students. and another was angry because she would rather be dead than look the way that she does.
so now it's my turn... I AM ANGRY BECAUSE our society has told these teenagers that they are not worthy of love and affection. I AM ANGRY BECAUSE there are teachers that don't care enough to invest in the children who sit in their classes every day. I AM ANGRY BECAUSE our culture rewards external beauty and punishes anyone who is "different." I AM ANGRY BECAUSE most of these teens will struggle with their weight their entire lives and will always believe they are less than beautiful. I AM ANGRY BECAUSE we are all, in some small way, perpetuating this sick culture. I AM ANGRY BECAUSE many teens do not know how amazing they are, how wonderful God has made them and how He loves them exactly as they are, i am angry because we don't love on teens like we should.
i know how frustrating teenagers can be. no i am not a parent but i have worked with teens in church and para-church organizations for more than fifteen years. i have heard both sides of the story. parents who think their kids are selfish brats. teens who think their parents don't love them.
parents need to know that teens DESPERATELY want to be loved and to make you proud. that is the one thing i have heard consistently over the past fifteen years. i wish my mom loved me more. i wish my dad would spend more time with me. if only i could succeed in this way, my parents would finally be proud of me. parents, i know that a lot of times teens are "unlovable" but as adults you need to be the ones to put your own hurt aside and love those teens. hug them whether they want to be hugged or not. tell them you are proud of them - even if they are screwing up. that is the most important thing you can give your kids - the knowledge that you love them NO MATTER WHAT! eventually, your kid will realize what they put you through. and they will realize with a deeper understanding how much you actually do love them.
but the reality is, these teens belong to all of us. we are all responsible for loving and caring for them because they will be the ones who walk into their high school and shoot classmates - because they are hurting. or become involved in a gang - because they were never truly accepted by their family. or become addicted to drugs or alcohol - because the reality of life is too painful without a numbing agent. or end their life - because they don't feel they are worth the space they take up on the earth.
so love on a teen today. call or email or take time to talk to a teenager. try to remember how hard it was to be a teen. the pressure, the feelings of inadequacy and lack of control. just let them know you love them, that you are there for them and that you are proud of who they are.
and actually don't we all need to hear that?
be brave, friends...

2 comments:

this is us said...

I love me a good tirade - bring on the Tuesdays!

Brianna Heldt said...

Hi, I found your blog thru Jennifer's and I love reading it! I too love a good tirade, and will be looking forward to next Tuesday! :)