catching up on some correspondence...


dear ants,
if you continue to come into my kitchen i will continue to kill you. you are welcome to live in the backyard or even out front but the kitchen is off limits. please help prevent this meaningless loss of ant lives.
sincerely,
anna

dear panera,
if you continue to sell such yummy salads i will definitely go broke. please remedy this problem by making food that tastes nasty or at least have some poor customer service so i will not want to return every day to order your delicious chicken cobb salad. thank you for your time.
anna

dear neighbor across the street,
why do you walk up and down your driveway each and every day talking on your cordless phone while wearing only pajama bottoms? my chihuahua does not appreciate your attire and sits in the front window barking at you. please put on a shirt or talk on the phone inside your home. she is very concerned you will get skin cancer, or maybe she just can't figure out who in the heck you could be talking to for eight plus hours a day.
your neighbor,
anna

dear target,
thank you for building a super target in our city. i was not spending enough at the regular target and really needed a super one so that my entire income will be spent at your new, super store buying stuff that i really need.
thanks again,
anna

dear, sweet friends,
come visit virginia...we always have room for you.
love,
anna

6 comments:

Anna Willett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
~Michelle~ said...

So are termites a big deal in VA? Cuz apparently ants like to eat termites, and can be beneficial to have around... But, otherwise, I feel your pain...find some pet-friendly spray @ Home Depot & have at it. And vacuums are great killers too, for that trail that may be streaming across your living spaces...

Heather said...

Dear Anna
Thank you for making me smile with your post today!! I have no idea what Panera is and we don't have super target (or any target)...but perhaps one day I'll come and visit and you can show me!

this is us said...

does your neighbor without the shirt also have a colostomy bag? if not, let me tell you - you are missing out!

loved this post - made me laugh.

:)

Mel said...

Great post Anna! You make me laugh. I will be in NC in August. I am going to see if you are on the way :)

heather said...

Oh poor Canada, no Panera either?? We'll have to fix that. LOL about the super target! Where exactly in VA? We can't be all that far and my girls love doggies. :-)