lately i feel like...

i am swimming in jello. i am kicking as hard as i can, but i am not getting anywhere.
when i closed my accounting business in december, i had visions of uninterrupted hours of crafting and sewing and being fabulous. i tried not to focus on the business-y part of starting a craft business and just dreamt of sitting in yards of beautiful fabric creating amazing works of art.
i guess i thought that a fairy would come to pay the bills and do the laundry... didn't happen.
i have been feeling like i am in the midst of a mid-life crisis...sans sports car and boob job.
i guess didn't realize there was such an intricate connection between our family accounting firm and my identity. i guess i never really took a minute to look at me and who i am apart from who others wanted me to be. and now that i have stopped for a minute (or month, whatever), it is taking me a bit to figure out who i want me to be... or how to actually live up to the overachieving goals i have set. in the meantime, i haven't missed an accounting deadline since december - even though i have nothing that i am accounting. so most days i end up just staring at the tv and wondering if i could get ellen to wear one of my handmade scarves on her show and daydreaming about how she would tell all of hollywood about how amazing i am and then i could sell my stuff for a thousand dollars each and i would only have to make a few scarves a month. and then i realize that i don't know if californians actually wear scarves...
my mind is a curious thing. it's a nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there.
be brave, friends...
<3 anna

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your over thinking your life. Quit thinking and do. Cut off the tv and make a scarf for Ellen and send it to her. I don't know if she wears them or not but does it really matter. Send one to Oprah and that lady Martha. And anyone else you can think of. If this is what you want then what does it matter what others think. You can sit there and dream or or you can "Just Do It" (as the Nike ad says). I DARE YOU to send scarves to these lovely ladies by the end of April. I'll pay for the shipping. Love ya.

Anna Willett said...

anonymous... who are you so i can send you the postage bill. lol :0)

Carrie C said...

why don't you try to get your scarfs on The Biggest Loser..they have soooo mcuh product placement it isn't even funny!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous is 12 years older then you and I look forward to the postage bill:)